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Thursday, 02 July 2009

natural beauty

So I've lost 6.6 pounds in 12 days, first few days from healthy eating and exercise, 2 days from eating nothing and the rest because I have been sick as a dog. I'm worried that when I get better my appetite will be ravishing and I'll be all "Oh how I've missed you food I'll never leave you again!!!!"

So I wear a lot of make up, mainly because I feel naked without it. But I'm thinking, if I became really really skinny, my face would loose chubbiness and perhaps a good body can out weigh a naked face? I've got really big eyes and pouty lips so if I loose weight then these features won't be so odd with a chubby face. people could actually see me as really natural because I have heard a lot of comments about me "being really pretty in an un natural, make upy way". I want people to see me as a natural beauty I guess, and weight loss will be an incentive for this.

xx

Friday, 26 June 2009

I love you Michael.

So today, I was thinking to myself-I have never really really pushed myself. I simply give up when something gets hard, and my sister told me that it is one of my worst trait's. The longest I have ever lasted on an extreme diet was for around four days where I lost quite a bit of weight because I was heartbroken. To break it down, I am simply a very very lazy girl.

So this weekend I am challenging myself to push myself harder than I have ever pushed myself. You girls sound like you always fast but this is something that I have never done so this weekend and a few days more hopefully, I am going on my first ever fruit and water+lemon+green tea diet. Will let you all know how it goes, but hopefully I will finally get the feeling of a reward when I see some bones in the mirror.

So question of the day, inspired from a comment recieved in my blog below, what is it that interests you and gives you pleasure in life besides the temporary happiness of eating?

Here are some of mine:
-finding a really good book
-learning more about the guy you like
-observing the people around me and how the world socially works
-city lights
-music music music (L)

Because afterall, we always get told not to chase temporary happiness. And isn't food temporary happiness?

xx

R.I.P Michael Jackson, we have lost one of God's blessings to the world

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Hello Miss Fatty McFatfat.

Today I ate enough junk to feed an army. WHY do I do this to myself? it is as if I am unclear of what I want, I have so many desires but so little control.

Life would be better if I were thin. I am trying hard to do it the healthy way but it is so much harder because I actually let myself eat, which means giving myself a loooot of exceptions.

Tips anyone??? Anything??

From now on I refuse to give up even when it get's hard.

Feeling like this...

When I'd rather be like this...

xx

Monday, 22 June 2009

I'm BAAAAACKKK

Hi lovely ladies,

7 months since I last blogged and I do apologise I have been so busy with university starting which meant a new life, new friends, new start etc etc. Unfortunately it has not been a new weight, but I am determined to make that change during this five week term break that has started officially today.

Heres the lowdown-
1.My ex is doing the same uni course as me, that means running into him every corner, every lecture and everywhere I go and it really does wear me out because it has always been this constant battle with my head and my heart when it comes to him. We're friends I guess, but he doesn't give a damn about me. If I loose the weight after break, perhaps he can finally have any concern for me.

2. He is infatuated with this girl who is my friend. She is beautiful, smart and extremely tiny. I feel that I will never be able to match up with her. She's got guys hanging off her every word and the world on her fingertips. I can't help thinking-could I have it all if i were as skinny and fun as she is?

3. I want a tattoo of a feather on my ribs, and my plan is that I will get it the second I hit 42 kg. My best friend is designing it for me and it is supposed to represent being independant, tearing myself away from society and not being a follower and going where the wind takes me. Note, I said I want it on the ribs, therefore I want a little bit of bone to show. This situation would not be pretty:

Me: Oh I got a tattoo
Friend: oooh let's see!
Me: (roll up shirt to show hideous stomach that blends in with ribs)
Friend: Oh...nice..?

This situation would be prettier:
Me: I got a tattoo
(lifts up shirt to show flat stomach and visibllish ribs with a beautiful delicate feather painted on)
Friend: amaaaazing

:) :) :)

As soon as I hit the 42 kg I shall take a pic and show u le tattoo.

Anyway so the plan is the loose a kilo a week, make it a real goal. I have been going up and down way too much for at least 3 years, a reasonable goal such as a kilo a week will be good, end of 5 weeks that would be 5 kg which would be amazing and defs show cuz I’m pretty short. Any support, tips or comments would be tres amazing.

Xx

Oh how I cannot wait to have a body that could pull of an outfit like the beauty below.

Monday, 10 November 2008

Hey everyone,
So I officially have 3-4 months of absolute freedom! except now I am filled with this daunting feeling of not having any direction in life. I have a theory that it is human nature to have to feel guilty about something. Before I felt guilty about not studying enough, now I feel guilty about not being able to find a job and ahh its just a mess
I FEEL GUILTY FOR NEVER BEING ABLE TO LOOSE ANY WEIGHT :(
This Thursday, Friday and Saturday I am going out for a string of parties, I promised myself a month ago that I was going to be so amazingly skinny by the time these parties hit and before I knew it theyre this week and I am feeling as horrible and bloated and pigging out on "after exam celebration" foods when I promised myself that I would loose weight as soon as I stepped out those exam rooms.
Please any advice on dramatic weight loss before Thursday/Friday?
Or will I simply have to fast and work out like crazy?
Any support or feedback would be appreciated, I am feeling so down

perfect tan !!!!